Nostalgic.

It’s going on six months now living in Los Angeles.

Los Angeles – the place I never dreamed of living. I believed it was just too big and full of materialistic lies. Well it is too big, full of traffic and materialistic lies! But, don’t get me wrong, I am really starting to like living in Los Angeles…it also happens to be the land of opportunity and filled with people and places that surprise:

The uniqueness of each neighborhood, delicious restaurants in every type of cuisine imaginable, a challenging hike to breathtaking views of the city, movement and excitement, Koreatown and Korean spas, an abundance of wellness conscience people and businesses, seeing or meeting someone famous is practically a common occurrence, billboards on every street, the feeling that something amazing is happening right now…

Like most of us, I have my nostalgic moments too. I miss the small town feel and simpler ways of life from my hometown:

Endless days at the beach, no traffic, being able to walk or ride my bike to work, free parking, living close to my family and friends, bigger apartment, bbqs on the back patio, the city was only a short drive away, the Wharf’s clam chowder, the feeling of fall and scarves, chai latte at my favorite café…

Change is inevitable, but those who embrace it succeed. That is what I am doing here in Los Angeles. Who knows how long I will stay, or where I’ll end up next. I’m just going with the flow, and thankful for every moment I am here.

My mom loves to remind me every time I talk to her,

“Just be happy, life is too short.”

Not Searching for Happiness.

Peace. Join the movement.

I’ve been a consistent visitor of the Sky Creek Dharma Center in Chico, CA on Thursday nights. It’s a night for us young minds (20 something year olds) to meditate and learn about Buddhism. I fell in love with the Center the first time I stepped in the serene atmosphere. I wouldn’t miss my Thursday nights  with my meditation group for anything. It allows me to relax and tone down my week.

One thing that really stood out to me this past Thursday was a talk about Happiness. Now, we all think that if we search for happiness, we will find it. I don’t believe that to be true. You can’t find happiness, it comes and goes when it pleases. I just found this to be true most recently. I’ve been trying so hard to find my right path. Where I should go after college, where I should work…etc. I’ve been so stressed searching for the path that will make me happy and in the mist of it all, it made me not happy. It made me miserable. So I gave up. I truely don’t know exactly what I will be doing, but it doesn’t bother me anymore.

So when I’m not searching for happiness, I now find myself happy. I’m relaxed. It’s as simple as that. I can really enjoy myself and what’s going on around me. I’m so tired of trying to plan my future, when what I really need to think about is RIGHT NOW. There is no future. There is only right now. Right now. RIGHT NOW. I might say in the future I will move home to Monterey, but once I get there I won’t be in the future. It will be right then, that present time. I will never be in the future. So why do we worry so much about what is to come? I have had that state of mind since I was little. I was always planning and looking ahead, only to miss what was happening in the present moment. I feel like I missed a lot and I’m not going to let that happen to me anymore. So I’m not searching for happiness and I’m not planning my future. I’m just going to be me, right here, right now. And whatever that looks like, sounds like, or feels like…that’s just it.