It’s just one of those days.

When you don’t want to be alone.

When you realize your circle of friends has shrunk to a unimaginable size. Where you find yourself giving into temptation and losing all thoughts to never ending questions.

How about I take this day, and shove it! I declare that I will not give away my joy. I will not dwell on my faults, past hurts and unanswered questions. I will dwell on my strenghts, my successes and the knowledge that everything will be okay because God loves me.  He has great plans for me, and I just have to be willing and open to recieve his love.

Today is just one of those days when I realize I am not alone.

When I look in the mirror.

When I look in the mirror I see – just me.

A girl who has a Korean Mother and a White Father.

A typical party conversation for me will turn into a trivial game titled “Guess my nationality.” The guys who are trying to impress will typically guess every nationality except mine. In the end I usually end up telling all, “I am Korean, French, Irish and Native American.” Then the shocked faces appear. Too bad the cute ones never guess right.

From 2000 to 2010, the number of Americans who consider themselves multiracial grew faster than those who self-identify as a single race, according to a new U.S. Census Bureau report. Those identifying with multiple races grew by 32 percent over the decade, for a total of 9 million. That’s a huge population of people just like me, trying to learn how to embrace the many elements of our families’ cultures.

Growing up I found it confusing – never really knowing who to identify with. Sometimes upset because I didn’t have a culture I could call my own like many of my friends. Do I hang out with the Asian kids or the White kids? Funny how everyone thought I was Mexican – so it didn’t even matter. It just happened that I made friends with all different nationalities. Still to this day, people randomly start talking to me in Spanish, and when I tell them I don’t understand they would ask me “Why didn’t you ever learn?”

I remember asking my mother “Why didn’t I learn Korean when I was little?” She would just simply reply “Because your father didn’t want me to speak to you in Korean, he wanted American kids.”

What is an American kid anyway? I am an American kid who just didn’t get the chance to speak my mother’s native language, which would have probably helped me get an awesome international job with a high tower office view. But who am I to blame? No, wait I blame my father – but he’s my father and you only have one – so yes I love him too.

I’ve tried learning Korean now that I’m older and it is hard! I’ll just continue to eat my kimchi jjigae and watch my favorite Korean dramas to get my culture fix.

My senior year in college I participated in the National Student Exchange program, and transferred to Florida International University for a semester. I got in touch with half of my roots joining the Asian Student Union (ASU). It was an unforgettable and new experience identifying with my Asian side. Everyone even said that I started to look more Asian after a while! I will never forget the weeks of practice with our Asian dance crew and then heading up to the University of Florida for the annual Def Talent Jam Competitive. ..Hey Asians got dance skills and we had to represent!

I am also blessed to have found Delta Xi Phi Multicultural Sorority during my first semester as a young freshman.  Living five hours away from home and not knowing a single soul, I immediately felt like I had found my place on campus. The DXP sisterhood is unique and something to be continuously celebrated. There are not many people that truly embrace another no matter what they look like or where they came from.

Despite some confusing moments while growing up, I am blessed to be who I am. I have a strong and caring Korean Mother who loves me unconditionally, and a rumbustious veteran White Father who offers great advice when I need it. They helped shape me to be me.

Next time you find yourself doubting who you are look in the mirror and say, “Today, I will accept myself just as I am. Thank you God for making me just as I am. I will love myself just as I am.”

You are my opposite and I am attracted to you.

I am attracted to you.

It seems I can’t help myself, my feelings… my cravings for you. The thing is you are my opposite. Doesn’t that seem strange to you? Or maybe it’s the way of the universe.  I mean after all you can’t put two positive or negative ends of a battery together… they will just pull away from each other. Maybe that’s why I fit so well in your arms, and your lips so well with mine.

We both have qualities that bring out the best or worst in each other, and being in this relationship for a while now- we have learned to find balance between each other. I am thankful that somehow by fate we met – when you took the chance to say hello even though you didn’t know me. My life will forever be changed because of you.

Pinky Promise.

The binding made with a pinky promise goes far beyond the verbal agreement. In my family it is the same as writing your name in blood. We take the pinky promise to a whole other level.

Keeping the family tradition intact, I made a pinky promise to myself (yes you can do that), and of course brought my boyfriend in on it. We promised that as our relationship grows we are not going to be that ‘BORING’ couple. We are going to keep things fresh, exciting and romantic.

It is no lie that relationships take hard work. I started dating as a freshman in high school. Back then that was definitely puppy love…how hearts were easily broken, and new distractions prevailed. My first love was in college. Lasted five good and bad years. It took me until the very end to realize that I can’t change someone to be right for me no matter how much we said we loved each other. And you know what happened? He finally did things he always said he was going to do after we broke up. That alone made me realize we were never meant to be.

A man is supposed to want to be his best when he is with you, and he must take action to prove himself. Same for a woman. She must want to be her best with her man, and prove herself through her actions. You can’t just say “I Love You” and call it a day. Love means taking action, showing the person that you care, that you will be with them even through their darkest hour. Not giving up your love so easily, unless there is none left to hold on to. Take the initiative to have a date night. Keep the passion alive because it sure doesn’t stick around if you don’t use it.

There are going to be times when you can’t even stand to be in the same room together, and that’s okay. Every person is their own individual, and somethings you just have to learn to let go. Try not to be so stubborn in your own ways. Being in a relationship is a two-way street. If all else fails in the moment, a lil’ loving never hurts… just don’t let that be the solution to everything. Communication takes patience and the want to find a solution.

I’ve heard stories and seen broken hearts, my own has been broken, and I have broken some hearts myself. It is an unfortunate circle, but a lesson in life. Through my relationships, I have learned of who I am more than any other experience. When you find the right person, during your best or worst, they will build you up and not break you down. That is a very powerful thing. That is worth fighting for.