We are all flawed.

“I don’t see heros and villains; I see very flawed human beings.”

“All of us have good in us; all of us have evil in us. All of us are capable of acts of heroism, acts of selfishness, cowardice, or what we might call villainy. We all have reasons for what we do. You don’t just have people who wake up in the morning and say, ‘What evil things can I do today, because I’m Mr. Evil?’ People do things for what they think are justified reasons. Everybody is the hero of their own story, and you have to keep that in mind. If you read a lot of history, as I do, even the worst and most monstrous people thought they were good guys. We’re all very tangled knots.” – George R.R. Martin

The blank page.

Editor of Writer’s Digest Jessica Strawser wrote:

“It’s said that in life, there are two types of people: those who look at the glass as half empty, and those who see it as half full. But in the writing life, I think it really comes down to how we view the blank page: those of us who find it exciting – full of possibility, hope, even adventure – and those who see it as intimidating – capable of inducing guilt, anxiety, even dread.”

I agree. Just as in life, I am conscious of my right to choose – words – and give it my all when I write. Each moment is presented, then gone.  Each book is read, unfolding an experience, then closed. We are only left with memories of how we felt during each experience, each reading. I want to invoke feelings of inspiration, happiness, hope and love.

Everyday is like a blank page. I love waking up in the morning refreshed as if my internal reset button was pushed. That alone is inspiring and hopeful to me. I am ready to take on the world, and write to my heart’s content. That is happiness and love.

I know my purpose in life is to write, spark creativity and help others – I just have yet to find my medium on how I am going to accomplish it.  I find myself more at peace when I write. Why do you write?

Eyes wide open.

It is 1:24 a.m.

Nights like this when I can’t go to sleep, even after trying really hard, there are only two things left to do….

When I look in the mirror.

When I look in the mirror I see – just me.

A girl who has a Korean Mother and a White Father.

A typical party conversation for me will turn into a trivial game titled “Guess my nationality.” The guys who are trying to impress will typically guess every nationality except mine. In the end I usually end up telling all, “I am Korean, French, Irish and Native American.” Then the shocked faces appear. Too bad the cute ones never guess right.

From 2000 to 2010, the number of Americans who consider themselves multiracial grew faster than those who self-identify as a single race, according to a new U.S. Census Bureau report. Those identifying with multiple races grew by 32 percent over the decade, for a total of 9 million. That’s a huge population of people just like me, trying to learn how to embrace the many elements of our families’ cultures.

Growing up I found it confusing – never really knowing who to identify with. Sometimes upset because I didn’t have a culture I could call my own like many of my friends. Do I hang out with the Asian kids or the White kids? Funny how everyone thought I was Mexican – so it didn’t even matter. It just happened that I made friends with all different nationalities. Still to this day, people randomly start talking to me in Spanish, and when I tell them I don’t understand they would ask me “Why didn’t you ever learn?”

I remember asking my mother “Why didn’t I learn Korean when I was little?” She would just simply reply “Because your father didn’t want me to speak to you in Korean, he wanted American kids.”

What is an American kid anyway? I am an American kid who just didn’t get the chance to speak my mother’s native language, which would have probably helped me get an awesome international job with a high tower office view. But who am I to blame? No, wait I blame my father – but he’s my father and you only have one – so yes I love him too.

I’ve tried learning Korean now that I’m older and it is hard! I’ll just continue to eat my kimchi jjigae and watch my favorite Korean dramas to get my culture fix.

My senior year in college I participated in the National Student Exchange program, and transferred to Florida International University for a semester. I got in touch with half of my roots joining the Asian Student Union (ASU). It was an unforgettable and new experience identifying with my Asian side. Everyone even said that I started to look more Asian after a while! I will never forget the weeks of practice with our Asian dance crew and then heading up to the University of Florida for the annual Def Talent Jam Competitive. ..Hey Asians got dance skills and we had to represent!

I am also blessed to have found Delta Xi Phi Multicultural Sorority during my first semester as a young freshman.  Living five hours away from home and not knowing a single soul, I immediately felt like I had found my place on campus. The DXP sisterhood is unique and something to be continuously celebrated. There are not many people that truly embrace another no matter what they look like or where they came from.

Despite some confusing moments while growing up, I am blessed to be who I am. I have a strong and caring Korean Mother who loves me unconditionally, and a rumbustious veteran White Father who offers great advice when I need it. They helped shape me to be me.

Next time you find yourself doubting who you are look in the mirror and say, “Today, I will accept myself just as I am. Thank you God for making me just as I am. I will love myself just as I am.”