Today.

Today will be remembered as THEE blessing.

I woke up anxious and ready to get it over with – to stand up in front of a judge. The night before I had fallen onto bed on the verge of sleep contemplating how I was going to present myself. What was I going to say? I had replayed numerous scenarios in my mind as I drifted into a deep sleep.

The next morning my eyes opened before the alarm went off. I laid there staring into the semi darkness. It was 7 a.m. I slowly rolled out of bed. I had to report to court at 8:15 a.m. and I lived 30 minutes away. I dolled myself up, and headed out the door. The love of my life joined me as my support. I believed this to be a defining moment in my life- the final judgement for what I had done. I walked through the cold metal detector, lifted up my pant sleeves, passed through. My nerves got the best of me, and I escaped to the restroom to release. In the mean time, my love was checking the screen promptor for my last time to see which court I was to report to. After a few scrolls, my name was no where to be seen.

We walked to the clerk’s office, and there we were told that my case was never calendared. What did this mean? Did someone forget to do their job? A sense of unease overcame me. We were directed to the DA’s office, out and behind the court building to portable building 3.

The puzzlement and questions overcame me, I was told that my case was dismissed that I didn’t have to show up in court. In disbelief, I immediately questioned the DA…”Soo, that’s it? It’s not going to change on me is it?” Nope. That was it.

I walked away. A smile overcame my entire face, and tears began to fall.

Soundtrack to my Life.

“The Adventure”

Angels & Airwaves
We Don’t Need to Whisper

I want to have the same dream last night, the one where I wake up and I’m alive. Just as the four walls close me within, my eyes are opened up with pure sunlight. I’m the first to know my dearest friends, even if your hope has burned with time. Anything that’s dead shall be re-grown and your viscious pain, your warning sign… you will be fine.

Here I am, and here we go life’s waiting to begin.

Do you feel ALIVE?